What do I have?

I think the hardest thing for me to accept right now is that I'll never have some of the things I took for granted as a child.
This last aborted effort had almost all the ingredients. The start of a family and such was going to be a bit late but after the time invested it would still work out.
My would-be husband in this scenario turned out to just not be capable of it.
Now I'm very close to too old to even start a family. And the years of looking for, finding and bonding with another man if ever will certainly push me past that age.
Very few men will be willing to start families this late in the game. Most of them will already have had families.
I'm realizing the reality now.
I'll never have the kind of relationship that every sappy movie seems to portray. Even a little.
I'll never have that beautiful wedding as a young bride with all my family to attend.
I'll never have that wonderful, joyous environment of my own family. With my loving husband I've been growing older with, three or four children calling me mom and looking to me for everything and me happily giving it.
I'll never have those children to watch grow up, get married and have their own children.
I'll never have grandchildren to play with and watch grow up.
I'll have my parents until they grow old and pass on.
I'll have myself.