Interesting thought

[groovychk]

Remember that love is a choice, an action and a commitment, it is not a feeling.
That nice hormonal rush you feel at the beginning will NOT last.
If you think that love is a 'feeling', and you lose the feeling, you're not going to work at it. I mean, why bother? You're not 'in love' any more.

Comments

[hwrnmnbsol.livejournal.com]

Hmm. I mostly agree. Maybe I completely agree I'm just stating it a different way:

I agree that love is a choice, and an action, and a commitment.

I think that feelings of love are also part and parcel of the whole. IF you choose love, and make the commitment, and give and receive, THEN you can receive those feelings. And if both members of the affair keep up their end of the bargain, those feelings of love can persist through a long and happy relationship. It would be fair to say that WITHOUT those feelings of love, it wouldn't be much of an enjoyable state to seek out.

But, if one or both persons fails to keep to the terms of the 'contract', then the feelings of being in love will not persist.

So, I agree with your last statement: if you believe your feelings of love are the sum total of what love is about, and you and your partner don't have to do any more than just feel in love, then you are in for a rocky ride. You have to see love as a decision, as a proactive choice to improve two lives by joining together.

But you have to feel it too! Otherwise it's not 'love', it's a 'Limited Liability Partnership'. ;)

[groovychk.livejournal.com]

Just an interesting thought. :-)
And yeah - I'm saying if one thinks the courtship phase feeling is what love is - then one would be an idiot. I'm starting with the assumption that both are "in love" to begin with - otherwise the statement means nothing. My thoughts are that love is more than a feeling. More than a chemical rush. If that were all love was then I'd want off the list. I don't "feel" like being an animal. My ex, for example, does.

What is love?

[(Anonymous)]

Love is that feeling that you get when you hear your partners voice. It is excitement wrapped around a feeling that suddenly everything is going to be alright. It takes time to realized that you really love someone. That first 6 months or a year during the courtship, that is lust, just to get you over the hump to figure out if this is the right person. I believe that certain people are just meant to be together. I do not think there is only "one" person for anyone. I think there are many. However I do think that there are many that are not meant to be with us. Finding which category a person falls into is the trick. Clues I use to determine if this may be "THE" one.

1 The kiss. Some people kiss and it feels so natural. Others, well
you just cannot get it right. If the kiss feels wrong, chances are
you are not with the right one.
2 Holding hands. If you hold their hand while walking and your fingers
mesh, and it feels natural - this might be the one. If your fingers
don't automatically go together or it feels wrong, it will never
feel right. This is one of my best indicators of how well a
relationship is going to go. Sounds stupid I know, but I swear by
this one.
3 The talking. If you find someone and you can just talk and talk for
hours. Well you may have found the right one. If you have a hard
time talking, you might want to try dating others. And here I do
not mean the awkward silences you get when you first start dating.
I mean the several months into the relationship talking. Where you
can sit and watch the fireplace for an hour and not need to talk.
Yet you never have to worry about having nothing to talk about.
The conversations come free and easy when you want them to. After
all when you are old and grey you are going to need that ability
to keep up a conversation.
4 (this one is particular to me) If your partner doesn't like sci-fi
move along. Oh man the grief this has caused in the past. I guess
this might fall into the category of having some similar interests.

Then again what do I know about love. I am single. These are my thoughts on the matter, your mileage may vary.

-Zaphod

[ex-clutchypo221.livejournal.com]

i've been wondering about it for a while. i think there's "love" and then there's what you get into. i think lately it's incalculable fluidity, it's success based on being open, honest, and happy. there's as many versions as there are couples.

my resolution for next year is to kiss some frogs. just as soon as i get over my fear of it.